D-Blog Day 4! This week is rolling right along and it’s time for another topic!
We don’t always realize it, but each one of us had come a long way since diabetes first came into our life. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 5 weeks, 5 years or 50 years, you’ve done something outstanding diabetes-wise. So today let’s share the greatest accomplishment you’ve made in terms of dealing with your (or your loved one’s) diabetes. No accomplishment is too big or too small – think about self-acceptance, something you’ve mastered (pump / exercise / diet / etc.), making a tough care decision (finding a new endo or support group / choosing to use or not use a technology / etc.). (Thanks to Hillary of Rainie and Me for this topic suggestion.)
I had to think a lot about this one. As a newbie, I haven’t really felt like I’ve accomplished a lot. Well, besides learning to live with diabetes that is!
The thing that stands out the most to me, was giving myself a needle for the first time.
When I was first diagnosed, my doctor had thought I was Type 2. It wasn’t until after I left his office that he called me and said he’d been thinking about it and decided I should be on insulin instead. So I had to go and get everything from the pharmacy and learn how to do it from the pharmacist. All verbal instruction, so for me there was no practicing before I had to actually stick it in.
I’ve never been a huge fan of needles. I’m the girl who used to look away when I had blood drawn, immunizations, or donating blood. I’ve never fainted or anything like that, but I definitely wasn’t comfortable with them.
So cue to my first day by myself with diabetes trying to give myself a shot. It wasn’t pretty. I use 4mm needles so they’re really small, but I was still freaking. It took at least 20 minutes. And that was 20 minutes of tears, chicken out attempts, and encouragement from my boyfriend to just do it. He told me later he was trying hard not to laugh at me sometimes because I kept whining “But it’s pokey!”. Jerk.
I finally managed to summon up all of my courage and jab it into my stomach area. I might’ve jabbed a little too hard, but I was scared!
But after that, a funny thing happened. I wasn’t scared anymore! Once I got over that initial shot, I was fine with it. No more crying or hesitating. I think it was that point where I actually started believing I could handle this, that I wasn’t going to let this disease win. So screw you diabetes, you’re not gonna keep me down!